


Guess She Helped After All

by Increa



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1725866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Increa/pseuds/Increa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Chelsea Lately With Chelsea Handler.<br/>[...<br/>“Sure, I mean, in real life you guys would make a nice couple too, why are you two still not together yet?”<br/>“Oh, believe me I’ve tried, but Zach would never consider me, I guess he’s just too good for his Captain in real life.”]<br/>Zach looked like he’d been amused. Of course he did.<br/>Chelsea started before Zach could say anything. “Well, don’t even consider I’ll go easy on you just because you are openly gay. I mean, dude, look at that cutie, look at his butt, what are you even waiting for?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Idiots Like Us

**Author's Note:**

> So after watching Sebastian Stan on Chelsea Lately, I thought, ok, what if it was Chris…  
> Plus, I don’t wanna judge Zach’s boyfriend, so I made some guy up.

“Welcome back. My next guest, Chris Pine, as dashing Captain James T. Kirk in _Star Trek: Into Darkness._ ”

Chris breathed, put on his public smile and went on stage.

“Hi! Welcome!” Chelsea hugged him. “Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you!” He greeted back and thanked the audience. They both took the seat.

“Congrats! I mean, this movie’s totally killing it.” Chelsea started.

“Thanks! That’s because we had a great director, J.J., and plus of course a really nice cast, you know, Zachary and…”

Chelsea didn’t let him finish. “Yeah, Zachary. I gotta say, you guys looked like a perfect match in that movie, I mean, who needed Uhura, right?” The audience hoorayed.

Ah, really? ”Eh, yeah, I guess so, I mean, it’s _Kirk_ and _Spock_! What else do you expect?”

“Sure, I mean, in real life you guys would make a nice couple too, why are you two still not together yet?”

Give me a god damned break. “Oh, believe me I’ve tried, but Zach would never consider me, I guess he’s just too good for his Captain in real life.” Shit he’s gotta maintain this public face.

Chris didn’t remember how he managed to finish this show, guess everybody could see how absent minded he was during the following conversation, his last thought was: God his publicist would kill him.

The reason why he was so on edge was that, he was kinda telling the truth, and it hurt.

He and Zach have been fucking once in a while for years. It was not like they saw each other very often after all, they, well mostly Chris, were just that busy. But whenever he’s in New York and Zach as well, he’d come up with something to get into Zach’s pants (yeah, he thought to himself, he’s that slutty, like he’s addicted to his dick or something), whether it was throwing some random parties or showing out of blue on the backstage of one of those Broadway plays Zach’s on.

Only when Zach’s fucking him could he feel that Zach needs him too. Maybe that’s the whole reason of him being slutty. Otherwise he’s just some guy Zach costarred with once or twice, some guy who would wait for days for Zach to reply his messages, and would have to read newspapers to learn the fact that Zach’s in town. Or the fact that he’s got yet another fancy boyfriend. Pretty faces and all legs. He could never win Zach over them.

Oh god, he’s pathetic that way. Most pathetic thing in the whole universe ever.

It’s good though, that Zach doesn’t give a shit about him, that way he wouldn’t be watching this stupid show and seeing how pathetic he was.

But Zach got invited and went on that show merely 2 months after him. To publicize _The Glass Menagerie_ or whatever, something in Chris’ mind he would normally dodge but he went anyway.

“So weeks ago I got Pine sitting here with me.” Oh god, that bitch. So did Chris swear before the screen.

“Oh really? He’s a fun person to talk with.” Zach smiled as if the name Chris meant something to him. Chis couldn’t help but sneer.

“With you, sure. We’ve got a videotape, let’s take a look.”

“For the love of God!” Chris is yelling at the screen now. “I'm gonna kill this bitch, I will.”

_[..._

_“Sure, I mean, in real life you guys would make a nice couple too, why are you two still not together yet?”_

_“Oh, believe me I’ve tried, but Zach would never consider me, I guess he’s just too good for his Captain in real life.”]_

Zach looked like he’d been amused. Of course he did.

Chelsea started before Zach could say anything. “Well, don’t even consider I’ll go easy on you just because you are openly gay. I mean, dude, look at that cutie, look at his butt, what are you even waiting for?”

For one split second, just one, Chris believed he saw that greedy face Zach would only make when he’s on top of him, like he couldn’t quit him. But then Zach was Zach, smiling perfectly on that stage. He must have had mistaken. Then Zach said: ”Hey, don’t be a home wrecker, I’ve got a boyfriend alright? Dave, remember? Don’t get this wrong, babe, I love you,” he turned to winked at the camera then turned to look at Chelsea again, “but yeah, I must have been blind to give that butt up, I mean, now that Chris’s definitely in love with me…”

Chris almost smashed his screen. Instead he simply turned it off, and smashed his mug.

*

The phone rang. Chris answered it without even opening his eyes. “Yes, who’s this douchebag?”

“It’s me, Zach. Sorry I forget it’s still early on your side.”

He didn’t sound sorry at all. But Chris couldn’t get angry, he’s just too tired. He finally opened his eyes though, only to see what time it was. “It’s _super_ early. Now, if you are not dying, I need to get back to sleep, bye.”

“You were in New York last week, you never told me.” He still sounded calm.

Chris managed to roll his sleepy eyes. It’s hard and meaningless. “Yeah? Why should I tell you?”

“You always told me. And…” He paused like he was hesitating.

“And what? And I always let you fuck me? Okay, that won’t happen again, and sorry for being such a home wrecker. Won’t be anymore. And we don’t seem to be besties who’d have tons to talk about, so I guess, no need to meet. Is that good enough for an answer? Can I go sleep now?”

Zach didn’t speak for a while, that Chris was thinking if the line’s already dead before he said: “Alright. Sleep tight. Bye.” Then the line’s officially dead.

“What the heck is that about?” Chris felt like yelling again despite time and his weariness. Anyway sleeping is the last thing he wanted to do now, now he just wanted to cry, like a fucking teenage who’d been dumped by his first love.

*

Don’t get attracted to straight boys, no matter how attractive they are, that’s like rule number one of being gay for Zach. He did fine, before he met Chris. Now how he wished to be Spock, so that he could choose not to feel, not to bend his own rule, instead of making so much effort in order to stick with it. He could talk himself into not asking Chris out when they were in the same city and hesitate to reply his messages so that he wouldn’t end up telling him how much he wanted to be with him, but he just couldn’t say no when Chris offered himself, not a single time.

The first time Chris made the offer Zach was terrified (and excited), but Chris told him it was not like he was a virgin, back in university he liked to be fucked once in a while, it was fun. And things were not that easy anymore since he's a celebrity now.

“So I guess I’m just convenient.” Zach raised his eyebrow, which hadn’t grown out yet and without his Vulcan hair and everything it was just ridiculous. So Chris laughed: “Sure. So what do you think?”

Zach thought he’d been doomed and eventually he’d become an insatiable monster that would scare him. But yes he agreed to fuck him on a (not so) regular basis. He’s gotta limit it to keep it fresh and exciting for Chris, or he’d lose this privilege too.

Now he _did_ lose it, because he was stupid enough to go on that show and too stupidly pleased with himself after watching Chris’s reaction (again) to remember who he was.


	2. Good To Know It Worked Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, I don’t like you, I fucking love you. I thought that was obvious.”  
> Zach’s voice softened: ”I’m sorry. I was a bastard. And I love you too.”  
> *  
> This time Sebastian Stan got invited to Chelsea Lately. Before he went, Chris Evans warned him about what a bitch Chelsea was and he needed to prepare himself for everything.  
> Sebastian didn’t take that seriously, not until that “you guys are very gay together” line came out from Chelsea’s mouth.  
> Here we go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Zach ; )

“You look like shit.” That’s like the seventh time someone spit that in his face. As if Chris didn’t know. He simply didn’t care. He’s not shooting any movies, so he didn’t need to pose as a sweetheart every girl would fall for. He’s nobody’s sweetheart. He let his beard grow as he wished and wear the first thing he grabbed in his wardrobe. Paps better not mess with him right now, he’d literally kick their ass.

“Seriously, you should get laid ASAP. You look so miserable right now and I’m afraid you’d die this way.” His friend sounded sincerely worried when he invited him over to his party. Chris wished he’d never listened to him. He went there, drank to get drunk and had a girl with really nice boobs and fine ass all over him. Realizing Zach was there too was the last thing he expected. What, he’s coming to parties in Los Angeles now? He didn’t even remember that they shared any mutual friends except the Star Trek cast and this was definitely not a cast get-together. So he must have already been drunk.

“You know.” Shit, it’s not him. Chris thought that to himself, without lifting his eyes, and his mouth was too busy making out with whatever who she was on his lap to respond. That definitely-not-Zach man continued: “I’ve got a room for you.” God he sounded like Zach so much. Chris stopped his movements, closed his eyes before finally looked at him. “Well, that’s so nice of you,” he’s satisfied with his sarcastic tone. He turned to the girl and asked: “This gentleman’s got a room for us, should we go…sorry, what was your name again?” “Sarah.” “Okay, should we go, Sarah?” “No, thanks. I’ll consider it next time when you are over him.” She got up, kissed Zach on the cheek and left.

 _Who the hell_ was that woman? Chris felt being betrayed by the entire world now. That’s when he realized he’s not that drunk at all, otherwise he’d be crying in Zach’s arms other than hating him for practically everything. Thank God he was still rational.

“So, are you coming?” Zach finished his question.

Chris followed him to his hotel room. He only did it because they needed to talk, that Zach needed to know that it wasn’t fair to call him a home wrecker while still do this to him. But as soon as the door was shut Zach kissed him, so fiercely that Chris yielded in the end, and he didn’t let go for a good measure of time.

“We need to stop this.” It was Zach who said this.

Well, that was one hell of a kiss goodbye. Chris managed to catch his breath and spoke as calm as he could: “EXACTLY! Now that you finally get that point, I guess I don’t need to waste any more time with you.”

But Zach held him still: “That’s not what I meant. We need to stop pretending there was nothing between us.”

“That makes one of us. It was you who don’t give a damn about me.”

“Pretended,” Zach repeated: “I pretended I didn’t care. Because I like you too much to be healthy, you know, you are straight and stuff. Now I know I was just stupid.”

“Wait, what?” Oh, damn.

Zach rolled his eyes: “Great, I thought _I_ was stupid. Anyway, you never told me you liked me.”

“No, I don’t like you, I fucking love you. I thought that was obvious.”

Zach’s voice softened: ”I’m sorry. I was a bastard. And I love you too.”

*

“So, what about Dave?” Was the first question popped up the next morning, after Zach woke up and found Chris was staring at him.

“This is scary, I should have fucked you harder yesterday. And by the way, Dave knows.” Zach stole a kiss, “he knows I’m sickly in love with _you_. They all do.”

Chris was shocked: “You are one son of a bitch…now I feel guilty!”

“Sure, you should be. Could have told me sooner.”

Chris rolled over, staring at the ceiling now: “This is so unreal, thought I was gonna lose you for good after watching that show. I literally wanted to kill that woman.”

“Look how it worked out. Guess she helped after all.”

That’s when Chris’ phone suddenly rang. It was his publicist, well, he’s not expecting her at all, it’s his fucking holiday. “Hello?”

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” She yelled so hard that Chris had to take the phone away from his ear.

“Wow, calm down, what have I done to make you so angry?” Chris had a gut about something serious though.

“Paps’ got photos of you and Zach arriving at that hotel last night. Could you two go to some place a bit less obvious like, for instance, your place? I suppose he’s there with you now?” He was right about that gut feeling.

“Yes…” He hissed and eyed Zach, who looked fairly worried.

“Well, then ask him, next time could he not be so lustful when he looks at you in public?”

“He was?” Chris was surprised, more so when he noticed Zach didn’t flush at all.

Zach rolled his eyes at Chris again and answered: “Will do.”

“Good, cuz you are making my job really hard. Now, go back to do whatever you were doing, bye.” And she hung up.

Chris threw his phone away and tongued his lower lip. “What now?”

“Do you regret this now?” Zach flinched a bit.

“Do you? Cuz I don’t, not in a hundred years.”

“Then we are fine. Except we need to work something out later to deal with the media. Now it's just too hard to think about it." He smiled viciously and said:" Come ‘ere.”

*

This time Sebastian Stan got invited to Chelsea Lately. Before he went, Chris Evans warned him about what a bitch Chelsea was and he needed to prepare himself for everything.

Sebastian didn’t take that seriously, not until that “you guys are very gay together” line came out from Chelsea’s mouth.

Here we go. “Okay, maybe it was a little _Brokeback Mountain_ in a time, a little _I won’t quit you_ , but, you know, everybody cares about everybody, what can I say.”

“That’s a beautiful thing, I mean it’s beautiful to see two man getting alone like that.” The audience laughed.

Thanks, that’s good to know. “Yeah. Sure. Sure thing.” He kinda enjoyed this. It’s not like he’s got this chance to talk about their relationship openly everyday.

“You know, last time I did this to Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto, they ended up being together for real. Look at those cute photos of them, I thought they were gonna make out right there.” And she displayed those photos paps had taken.

Well, never look at Chris like Zachary did, Sebastian took a mind note. Well, the other Chris. “Wow, that’s a good thing to know! Who are you, Cupid? Guess you need to wait and see what will happen between Chris and I then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't get me wrong, I love Chelsea!  
> PLZ leave something if you like it : )


End file.
